I had a hundred reasons to get over it

yet a thousand reasons to stay;

I had to face the fragment of me that still loved;

silence it, stab it, let it die away.

And as a thousand reasons wither

I hope I don’t,

as I picture it like all strength

is taken from me.

It looks like all these years

You were always on the brink of tears

What haven must I make

For you to want to stay awake?

In all our photographs

And all these paragraphs

I'm the only one smiling,

Your happiness is missing.

In the depths of my despair

You appeared and made me feel again

What should have been nauseating filth

Turned into memories that remain

Will I be able to do the same

When I'm ten thousand miles away?

Will I even have the wits, the charm,

To be a presence that makes your day?

All I wanted was to

Dance with you a little

Share a small fleeting moment

Celebrate the sparkle that is your existence

But it appears I'm an unnecessary charity,

Not a source of malice, but one to politely decline

One to push away even when

Loneliness would be your counterfactual